Transition to Scholar article by Rachel DeMille

"TJEd Milestones – Transition to Scholar: The Moment of Becoming

by Rachel DeMille
If you could change anything about you, what would it be? I’m not talking about plastic surgery or losing a few pounds. But seriously, if you could really, truly improve the inner you and become more like your very best self, what would you change? Whatever it is, there’s a good chance that if you could go back in time to change it you’d end up dealing with lessons most naturally learned between ages 9 and 14.
This transition from Love of Learning Phase (childhood) to Scholar Phase (youth) is one of the most important facets of a young person’s education. Those who transition well during this time will almost invariably have an excellent youth experience; those who do not will likely continue to struggle even into adulthood. Fortunately, this transition is natural and most healthy children will automatically make many of the transitional changes on their own.
The challenge is that parents who were trained on the conveyor belt may not realize what is happening, and may in fact, block, slow or otherwise frustrate this natural process. This is why it is essential for parents to recognize and understand this vital transition in a young person’s life.
Transition occurs in most girls between ages nine and twelve and in most boys between eleven and fourteen. Some psychologists speak of this age as the root source of most problems in men, who are often pushed too hard at this age to “put away childish things” and take on adult responsibility. One of the biggest pressures many boys feel at this age is pressure to perform academically. Girls are usually ahead of boys at this age, yet boys are often pushed to keep up to girl “grade levels.” And girls can struggle because of the enormous amount of social pressure put on them during this Transition.
Montessori observed: “The middle age crisis signals that the adult is on their way to death; in contrast, transition excitement about learning signals that the child is on their way to life.”
J. S. Ross expressed that a “being from another planet, who did not know the human race, could easily take these ten year olds to be the adults of the species; supposing they had not met the real adults.”
The vital lessons of Transition, as outlined by Wayne Dyer in What Do You Really Want for Your Children? include:

• Take smart risks
• Don’t put yourself down
• Inner Approval: Don’t emphasize external measures of success
• Don’t complain or whine
• Don’t be judgmental
• Never get “bored”
• Learn from mistakes
• Learn to lose and win well
• Practice smart self-reliance
• Choose to feel at peace and serene
• Realize that life is about smiling
• Never fear your own greatness

Consider how important this list of lessons is, and you’ll realize just how vital this period is in each young person’s life. Leading child developmental psychologists Erik Erikson and Jean Piaget taught that adults can go back and “renegotiate” this phase if they didn’t fully learn the lessons, but what parent wouldn’t want their children to learn these as youth
The healthy child naturally learns all of these and skills openly or subconsciously—unless they are squashed. Unfortunately, the conveyor belt often rejects Intuitive Thinking and simultaneously over-emphasizes the need for Higher Thinking skills at an early age. To compensate, many young students turn to Memorizing as a way to fake Higher Thinking skills that their brains are unprepared to utilize (and which are developed during puberty). They fail to truly emphasize the vital lessons of Transition and beyond because they get stuck in memorized learning.
Parents can have a significant positive influence on this simply by helping children identify and choose wisely in the Transition. Of course, this starts by not pushing too hard when the child is still learning Intuitive Skills, and in waiting to push higher-order academic subjects until the child’s natural maturity has equipped him for Higher Thinking.
When done well, Transition to Scholar is an exciting and wonderful time for a child on the leadership path, and parents largely choose which path the child will take—at least at this point in her life. The right choice can make a huge difference in the education of each child, and in the life mission she will pursue and the success she will have.
Apart from your children’s progress, if you want to revisit and renegotiate anything on the list above, it is never too late. In fact, one of the most effective ways to gain (or strengthen) that inner lesson you never quite mastered is to actively help your child through the process."

http://www.tjed.org/resources/newsletter/april-2012-inspire/#transition